What I Really Learned in School

Some Things I learned in School: 

• teachers were always careful to 'keep their distance' from us kids
• detention wasn't all that bad an experience. In fact I kind of liked being alone in the classroom with my teacher, even if he ignored me for the 30 minutes (there may have been one or two other detension-ees some times)
• that i could be very very mean to one unfortunate girl for one or two grades (it bothers me to recall- oh well) and get away with it
• that I could tease classmates who excelled at their grades and get away with it
• that exceptionally great teachers who were passionate about what they taught were equally exceptionally rare
• that teachers' had fears, like for their reputation or their job, but less so for concern if their students actually learned anything of any depth
• that teachers didn't have much time for me- not always because they didn't care all that much, but they just didn't have the time or energy, which of course leads to: 
• teachers were always very, very busy busy busy
• the clothing brand you wear is VERY important
• that when a teacher disliked me they were faintly able to disguise it
• some teachers were perverts
• some teachers were caffeine addicts
• some teachers were very interested in flirting with other teachers
• my principle was very unimpressed that I used the word 'damn' in a part of my speech depicting a stereotypical angry spouse talking to her seemingly dumb husband about the hazards of using a gas stove after a nuclear air raid was in effect
• that the school library rug was an excellent place to rub my socks and distribute static shocks to my school mates
• that I liked being up in front of the class making students and teachers laugh
• that I liked playing cello
• that a classmate could get 1st place instead of 2nd place by crying and sobbing and generally making the teacher feel very guilty
• that some teachers liked it when you tattled, but others strongly disliked it
• that in general most teachers were generally friendly, kind and respectful as far as human beings are concerned
• that all teachers avoided any one-on-one communication of any significance- and quickly retreated whenever I wanted to talk and get some moral support I craved as I lacked it in my home life